Wednesday, September 3, 2008

so sad.

It's been a long hard week. I lost my grandfather. A man I loved, admired and looked up to. A man who is responsible for many of my beloved childhood memories. A man who was patient, kind, and genuine. So much so, Sean and I asked him to marry us. He was and is the epitome of what a husband & father should be and what an example he's set for us all. I'm so thankful that although for only a short time, my kids were fortunate enough to know him. My grandfather will always be a presence in mine and their lives. Whether it be memories, pictures, stories, the traits that we've all acquired from him or the standard he's set that we will always strive to reach.

Alex has been asking where 'great pop-pop' is, and why is everyone so 'sad'. I'm not sure I've figured out how to make sense of all this myself but I'm sure that when I do, she'll be the first one I explain it to. Until then, I'll tell her he's in our hearts, our minds, our memories & our prayers and we were all so lucky to have known him.

Life sure is unpredictable. It's sad that it takes an event such as this to snap you back in to reality. It's easy to get so caught up in the speed of life, struggling to complete the 'must dos' that we rarely take time to enjoy this life we've been gifted with, enjoy the people we are fortunate to share it with and really live each day as if it's our last. A friend once told me 'Do not wear your blessings as burdens'. I needed to hear that then. Every day I try to be thankful that I have a job to go to, a house to clean, and kids to take care of. I continually try to 'balance' life with the things that have to be done while at the same time making time for great experiences and enriching my kids lives with the kind of fun and fond memories I was given from people like my grandfather.

Sean reminded me of a story yesterday. A few weeks back we were all at my grandparents. The three kids were running loud and rampid amidst our constant requests they settle down. At one point, my grandfather leaned over and said to Sean, "Why? They are kids...let em' run. That's what they do." For a father of four boys, that means something. You take things from people, you learn from them and when you feel like your life should be taped and broadcast as the next reality show about a mom on the brink of remember comments like that. And you breath. And you get through. Even though he is gone, his lessons, his witty remarks, his love of life, adventure and those he loved will always be with me. God, I will miss him.


Malisams said...

Your grandpa was so cute at your wedding...I loved that you guys asked him to be such a huge part of it, and that he gave you such a warm, personal ceremony. Don't be sad. "Those who were so much a part of us are never really gone."

Dirk said...

Carrie, you're such a good writer.
This was a really nice tribute to my dad and your grandpa (FarFar).