Tuesday, February 26, 2013


each year, the kids school celebrates the 100th day of school. they usually have a celebration and everyone has to bring in 100 of the same object to count and/or share. the teacher's usually bring in 100 cheerios, or marshmallows, or chocolate chips for all the kids to count and then eat. 

for us parents, it's usually just another tuesday but for the kids it's something special.

today, ian brought home his 100th day of school learning packet and after opening and reading, it had sean and i practically on the floor in tears.

from laughing.

ian's teacher applied for a grant last year that allowed each child to have their own personal iPad in class. they do a lot of work on the iPad and email the teacher. they write, draw, and do math. occasionally, i'll randomly get an email from ian while at work with his special work of the day. this packet was done from the iPad.

first, the 'i wish i had 100...'

anyone know what njogo's are?

and then, 'i'm glad i do not have 100...'


and finally 'if i had $100...'

'i gir a bed' because we currently make him sleep on the hard cement floor. with only a placemat for comfort.

also included in his backpack paper stash this week was a valentines love letter from my boy. 

i'm thinking it is supposed to say 'mommy, hope you have a happy valentines, from ian'

and with that, sean and i have decided to start calling him 'fumian'

Monday, February 25, 2013


friday nights are party time. i mean, it's all about staying up late, letting loose, hanging out with friends, and shaking off the stresses of the week.


maybe 8 years ago we counted down the days of the work week to make it to friday. we'd meet up with friends at about the time we go to bed now. we'd bar hop around, and come home after midnight. but we are old now and need extra rest and take vitamins in the masses.

See? I've traded in friday night purple hooter consumption for this wrinkle reducing, hair volumizing, immune system boosting, skin rejuvenating, fatigue battling, anemia fighting nightly regime. 

typically, i'm asleep at 8:45 after watching half a movie. sean stays up later because he has a concerning addiction to the 'west wing' right now and is on episode 115 of 160 some. 

these days, we pick up dinner and a redbox and get home as quickly as we can.  We all change into jammies before the clock strikes 6:30 because it's friday and it's a PARTY AT THE KOLMERS, bring your skivvies and pink socks.

Friday, February 15, 2013


my life for the last three days looks something like this: dayquil, nyquil, half finished valentines. vitamins, sudafed, tax backup, stale caramel corn, and messes everywhere.

sean was sick last weekend and after 3-4 days was back up and running. me? i've been sick now for 3-4 days and feeling relatively the same. like pure hell.

karma i think for making fun of sean for having a 'man cold'. a 'man cold' you see is typically the same cold a woman might have. but worse, much worse. well, this is no man cold. it's a colosal life altering smack to the sinus pained face. 

but, it's valentines day. so i took a break from my 9 episodes of downton abby, and my 6 episodes of felicity and ventured to the store for valentines dinner makings. i floated through the store like a zombie. the drugged and delusional kind searching for red and pink things. because around here, on valentines day we make pink and red dinners and exchange words of love and appreciation. and we wear pajama pants with hearts.

okay, i've had these on for 3 days and it has nothing to do with 'the day of love'.

we exhanged cards, and said the things we should all year but make up for on each February 14th.

i paid an extra $1 for these buttercream topped 'twinkie cupcakes' which the kids ended up swiping the frosting off of. but they looked good. at least BEFORE, they tipped over in the car.

the kids opened cards from their great nanna and their grammom. what a treat! getting mail at the wee ages of 5 & 7 is always such an excitement.

we ate red things. like strawberries, and raspberries.

 and a special treat for sean who deserves the world in thanks, but must settle for a giant beer with a red label and some swedish fish.

and pasta for my loves, garnished with a heart.

these two have completely changed my perspective on valentines day. a holiday i used to loathe and see as wasteful, and expensive, and a sorry excuse to do in one day what we should do every day or any day. it has now become a day of tradition in our family. we eat pink and red, we eat dinner in the dining room, we say 'i love you' more than once. sick or not.

Monday, February 11, 2013


since i found out i was 'with child' which is nearly 93 months ago i have been getting monthly emails from babycenter.com. i get little notes, tidbits, and things to think about regarding your '7 year old' or your '5 year old'. this month's was, 'your 5-year old-telling lies'.

i barely read these emails anymore. i mean, i totally have this parenting thing down now (i lie). but i've since gone back and read the article. because, apparently i have a sneaky little liar on my hands. and really, if there is a whole article about 5 year olds lying, it must mean that a) my kid is normal and b) i'm not failing as a parent being the mom of a liar lair pants on fire, amiright?

ian has been having trouble concentrating in school. he has trouble focusing and staying on task. the teacher has emailed me with her plan of placing a sticky note on his desk and if he is asked more than once to 'settle down' or 'pay attention' or 'please stop bouncing and throwing your pencils across the room' or is told to 'keep your hands to yourself and stop saying poop'. he get's a check that he then has to bring home.

last week i challenged him and said if he came home without any check marks, i'd take him out for ice-cream.

and on FRIDAY when i picked up the kids from school ian proclaimed 'MOM  I DON'T HAVE A STICKY NOTE! I GOT NO CHECKS TODAY!'

yay! cheers! alex and i praise him. i tell him how proud i am of him we are going for ice cream! of course it's friday and i'm brain-dead and tired and want to be home in my sweat pants. the kids on the other hand, are full of boundless energy and want to spend the next hour at the yogurt place. but, i'm the boss and i win so i say 'let's go to safeway for a giant tub of mint chocolate chip and a red box!'

alex whines, complains and pitches her 7 year old tween fit. ian obliges, happily. 'sounds good to me mom'.

no complaints, i should have seen the signs.

last night at bedtime, in the middle of story hour ian confesses.

I: 'mom, so. on friday, i had a substitute teacher'

M: 'oh really (i say not putting 2:2 together)'

I: 'yes, mrs. kolb was sick'

M: 'alright buddy, want to finish your book?'

I: 'well (he stammers) the thing is substitute teacher didn't know about the sticky notes. but i still didn't get any checks or be silly'

M: 'did the teacher ever have to ask you to pay attention or settle down?'

I: 'nope'

I: 'maybe only one time.'

I: 'in the morning, but twice after lunch'.

M: 'thanks for telling me buddy, it seems like you should have told me friday when i took you for ice-cream'. by telling me the truth, i may have rewarded you anyway. it's always best to tell the truth'.

I: 'i also didn't brush my teeth this morning like i said, can i have a reward?'

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Thursday, February 7, 2013


i love this. i found this post today that i never actually published. and it made me happy to find something maybe forgotten forever. i can still remember the happy i felt from this weekend 3 years later and am oddly refreshed by it. enjoy!

There is no doubt that I love being a Mommy and that I consider my two babes to be the single most rewarding accomplishment in my life.

With that being said, every once in awhile I can't help but love driving away from them and for an entire weekend and just be me. I know that 'me' still exists. She's in there. I feel her emerge when I'm in the car alone and Paula Abdul's 'Straight Up' comes on the radio. Or, if I'm out to lunch with co-workers not having to tend to Ian throwing his silverware, or I'll have a surreal moment at the gym, the only thing in my hands is my iPod and for 1 hour, nobody needs me and the only thing I have to worry about is what song is coming up next.

This last weekend I feel like I was given quite possibly the BEST gift ever. A gift that pales in comparison to anything I've seen in the 1000 jewelry flyers I've received in the mail this month. OH Yes, even better than the 4 Ct. Diamond ring that is 'sure to show your valentine how much you really care'.

I don't need no stinking ring, just give me two childless, choreless, getting up at the crack of dawn-less days of pure unadulterated food, wine, and Super Nintendo fun. That's right, I said it.

I also got up when I wanted to. I drove in the car for 3 hours and listened to songs with bad words, and didn't have to muffle my road rage.

I shopped and for all my mother friends YOU KNOW HOW AWESOME THAT IS TO DO without little people.

I shopped some more.

I probably read 9 magazines, and browsed 5 home decorating magalogs. I truly played Super Nintendo and remembered where all the hidden mushrooms were. And Gina? Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure you'll be practicing until our next girls weekend.

I had such a great time with my girls.

We wrote down ALL of the funny things we did and said and believe me there were many. Many of which may never be published. Sad, isn't it?

To say I needed that, would be a bit of an understatement. I've been running on fumes for weeks wondering how I could possibly make it to vacation week. My tank has been filled, that 'me' I was talking about earlier is kinda back a little.

In other news, the entire East coast is snowed in apparently. I'd say I'm jealous and would give ANYTHING to be stuck in side at home with movies and snacks but that would mean I wouldn't be here at working LIVING THE DREAM. And to that dream, I must get back.

One month from now, Sean and I will be packing up the chitlens for the first annual -Griswold- Kolmer family vacation to Cali. We going back to Cali to Cali to Cali...OR, giving our life savings to Mr. Walt Disney.


i have this thing i say a lot. i say it when i'm down in the dumps like last week. and i say it when i'm teetering on that edge of sanity and not sane like this week. i'm sure you've heard it. it goes something like, 'you laugh or cry'. and i usually follow it up with a nervous, 'right?' and i expect an answer. a bit of validation that it's perfectly normal to be either one or the other but rarely in between.

last week, i cried. a lot. just in a rut, not feeling it. tired, and angry because i was so tired. un-motivated and un-wavering. i kept to myself and tried to spare my loved ones from my 'boo hoo's'. i acted like a victim and that the world dealt me a 'harder hand' than others. i know this isn't true. but a pity party was had and that's that.

now, i know and those closest to me know that really i just needed to take my vitamins. i'm not embarrassed to say that i'm a victim of 'SAD' (seasonal affective disorder) which causes a form of depression from lack of sun and light and sunlight and warmth. and for a person with 'SAD' living in the pacific northwest you just have these 'boo hoo' weeks, and you take your vitamin D and you have a big girl talk with yourself, and you move on and know that in 4 long months, you'll feel better.

on tuesday morning of this week, for the first time, i woke up feeling better than the day before in more than 10 days.

so, on the way to work when i merged onto the freeway and found traffic NOT moving i did not cry. i turned the radio up and enjoyed the time to myself.

and when i realized i'd left my lunch at home i did not cry, i treated myself to subway with a co-worker.

and when i picked up the kids that afternoon and found them to be tired, grumpy, and un-cooperative i did not cry, i started a tickle fight with them.

and ian ended up pee'ing his pants and soaking the couch.

and then when he cried, i did not cry, but laughed and tried to make light of it.

and when that didn't work, and he had run upstairs in pee soaked pants and hid under his bed, i did not cry. i pulled him out by those pee soaked pants and made pee soaked carpet and told him everything would be okay.

and when he said 'NO IT WON'T' and wiggled further under, he bumped his head.

and when he said, 'you are the worst mother in the whole world' i did not cry. i laughed and said, 'you're probably right' and i left the room and started the bath.

and when he was in the bath and i was washing his hair, i got soap in his eyes and he did this.


and i laughed.

and let's just say that didn't help matters.

i'm pretty sure i did not help my case for the annual 'mother of the year' competition. i'll from here on out stop checking the mailbox for my big award. but i laughed instead of cried and that's something.