Friday, July 10, 2009

Everything, FAIL

For those of you that are on the opposite side of the political fence than I, I apologize for this image. I couldn't resist. Please take solace in the fact that the last week, I have been punished enough for this slandering behavior.

It's true what they say, that everything comes in three's. Although, I have yet to convince that that applies to kids as well. I believe it was last Thursday when things started to one by one go to hell. It started with my trip home from the gym. I decided to be 'pro-active' and stop at the gas station to avoid having to do it on the way in to work the next day. I pulled in, turned the car off and proceeded to check facebook while I filled up. I thanked the gas attendant, took my receipt and attempted to start the car. No. Nothing. Not even a dash light flickered, not even a pathetic attempt of the car turning over. Car battery, FAIL.

The battery was so dead, it wouldn't allow me to even put my over-electric car into Neutral so I could be 'pushed out of the way' as that was obviously the gas attendants biggest concern. I did what any girl would do, I called my dad. He assured me he was on my way. I stepped out of the car, all sweaty and gross and asked around for jumper cables. I found a gentlemen who offered to help. After TWENTY minutes the car, finally sputtered to life. That's when said 'gentlemen' requested payment of $10 for his service. When I said I did not have any cash, but 'thank you so much for your help', he offered to accept dinner, or two babies. Ew, gross. "Thank You Sir, BYE".

The evening escalated with Alex waking up at 11pm throwing up all over her room. Child's health, FAIL. When I mean, all over I am not exaggerating. I was cleaning vomit from her bookshelf, her wool pottery barn rug and picture frames. After cleaning that up, and getting her settled I proceeded to lay in bed in anticipation of the next vomit. One sleepless night, and it never came.

The next morning, we woke to water all over our garage floor. Hot Water Heater, FAIL. Thankfully, Sean stayed home with the kids (Alex being sick) and him and my dad had a new one installed by the time I got home. $458 dollars poorer, with the upside being we can finish washing the puke sheets.

Saturday, Sean spent the majority of the day tearing apart are 1 year old gas mother ship grill. Grill, FAIL. Maybe maybe, due to ownership error, WE failed to clean it properly and it lit on fire. Short of burning down our house, we doused it with water and broke a few of the elements. Owners, FAIL. Sean also replaced my car battery so cross your fingers y'all we are in good working order and are HOPING that that's it, for awhile.