Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Calgon...please please take me far far away.

Sometimes I'm in awe. Complete awe, of what I may encounter in a 24 hour period of time. Had you told me 3 years ago that I would blot at a human pee spot on my carpeting with paper towel and call it good, I would have laughed. Hysterically. Later, I'd run to Target and stock up on Resolve and various other carpet stain removers. Then I would have hopped over to Safeway and rented a 24 hour steam cleaning machine and cleaned my carpets. Just because I like things to be THAT clean. But times have changed and for self preservation, my standards have had to come down. WAY down.

Sean left yesterday for an over-night work trip to LaGrande, OR. He called me at 10am to say he was on the road and btw, our cleaning lady has skipped town, changed her phone number and we are lost for hopes of getting our last check back for a house not cleaned.

Oye. It's a sign. A sign that we really don't have money floating around to afford this luxury and I best be getting back to doing it myself. But, not before changing our locks.

He texted me at 3. "I'm here, what a hellish drive and I love the Civic Hybrids'. He went off to speak and present in front of important people about important things and I went back to whatever I do. It's too boring to type. I sat here in my desk chair wishing that I was in LaGrande, having a comp'd dinner and a restful night in a hotel where I could read my book and have all the big fluffy pillows all to myself. Later that night, I'd be sharing them with Alex. Her body sprawled across my bed in the perfect 'starfish form' her swim teacher requests from her each Friday.

Instead...I was heading home to pick up the kids from daycare, feed them dinner, give them baths, have quality time with them while at the same time watching the two neighbor kids for a few hours. I got everything accomplished except the baths, and the quality time. So really, they ate and I kept all 4 kids alive. Go me. All the excitement in the house had Alex apparently on a sugar high that could only be matched by an entire box of hostess Twinkies, followed by a package of M&M's. 10:30 pm, I'm still struggling to get the girl in bed. I finally gave up at 10:45 and pulled her into bed with me. Sorry don't even have to tell me how stinky that can of worms I just opened is. I do drastic and naughty things when fatigued and slightly scared of the dark. Oh, and weary of giant grasshoppers (found in my room the previous night).

This morning was no easy feat. Getting the kids up and out the door by 7 while getting myself ready is one thing. Doing this all with a cloud of guilty conscious that I'll be over 2 hours late to work is another. So imagine my reaction when Alex, who clearly woke up on the very very wrong side of the bed threw a ROYAL tantrum, flipping and flopping herself down the stairs, flinging her head back while Alligator tears dripped from her face then proceeded to pee on the carpet in protest of getting dressed. My reaction to this wasn't a good reaction. Not one of my better reactions. Not one of my calm, cool, & collected reactions. Not by a long shot. In fact, I felt my face contort into every angry face I ever saw from my mom as a youngin..all at the same time. Followed by a coupla swear words (under my breath of course) and on the way to the kitchen for some paper towels. Imagine also my disgust when I found pee 'splatters' on my couch and the only pair of Capri's I can fit on my giant self. Last 89 degree day for many months I suppose and I'm wearing JEANS.

So. This post-a day in the life of me. Not one of the better days in the life of me, but all the well. In a couple of moments when I'm sure Sean is back on the road home, cruising in his plush rented Civic Hybrid, and refreshed from his quiet night, comp'd dinner and drinks with big people, I'll be sending him a very important text. "Don't forget to pick up the kids today, I have a hair appointment. Be home late". Aaaaaaah. I don't know if they make Calgon anymore and frankly, I don't have a bathtub in my house that's not filled with a giant frog tub toy carrier, a floating ship and 26 foam letters. But for now, a hair salon, a leather covered chair and a good scalp massage will suit me just fine.

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