Monday, January 26, 2009

Safari Sams-The out of shape Mom's worst nightmare.

Sean and I were determined to give our kids a great, fun-filled family weekend. And this is what we did. See below the only photo captured of our day o fun..and let it be known that it pretty much encompasses the totality of our experience that in one word can be summed up as...crazy.

I have no pictures of this place. For those of you that know of this 'place' you can understand why. For those of you that don't? Consider yourself lucky. It's dark, warm, and is surely the best known host for the residue of snotty noses, sneezes and dirty little fingers. I could practically see the Germs. We were in the Petri Dish that is 'Safari Sam's.

Safari Sam's is like...well, Chucke Cheese's times a million. It's a GIANT play structure with rope climbs, plastic gym mats, including elements of 'Gladiators' with swinging punching bags, seat belt netted jumping rooms, army crawl tunnels, giant slides & pyramid towers. Every kids dream. Every Parents worst nightmare.

The parents of the older children sat on the outer perimeter, drinking beverages from the (god bless them) full bar, or congregating in the middle with their cell phones and laptops as they 'sorta kinda' made sure their kids weren't body slamming the smaller children. The parents of smaller children (like us) , could be found well, squeezing their bodies through 'too small' holes and sliding down 'too small' slides. I, with my giant purse found these tasks extra difficult and attribute the bag, packed full of snacks, diapers and water bottles the bain of my current existence and neck pain that leaves me feeling crippled. I'll probably never forget seeing Sean emerge from a long windy tunnel slide with Ian in tow. Like the sound of a cork being removed from a bottle of wine, Sean said, "Whoa, we got stuck". Ian's face, surrounded with a large ray of staticky hair was all smiles.

When all the kids were rosy cheeked, and Sean and I were cursing our long sleeves wishing we had come prepared with sweat shorts, knee pads & helmets. We left. When Caden began stomping in anger that he couldn't get up the rope ladder screaming, "I'm just tired!", we knew it was time to cut our losses and head home to ice our sore muscles.

We made two pit stops, one to Stride Rite where BOTH my kids are required to get shoes due to the extra tall and extra wideness of their feet. I curse those that raise the price of CHILDRENS SHOES to levels I wouldn't myself purchase a pair of shoes for! Our last stop, Costco, for milk. Sean idled in the parking lot while I ran in and upon my return realized our car doesn't like to sit in 'auxiliary' for more than 10 minutes. BATTERY dead. As all three kids wined hungrily from the back sean. Sean and I silently aired our frustrations and call my sis for a jump. A day has never felt so long.

This weekend, Ian furthered his vocabulary. When I asked the kids if they wanted to watch a movie, he replied, 'Sure'. Clear as day and as if he'd said it for years. He then pointed to the TV and said SHOW!

I've always somewhat regretted not having started this blog earlier. To capture some of the funny things that Alex said in her first two years. What I've found, is that Ian is reminding me of things. We were reading a book earlier this week and started singing, 'Old McDonald had a farm'. One of mine and Sean's FUNNIEST memories of Alex was her always singing in the backseat of the car, 'E-I-O'. Never E-I-E-I-O, but E-I-O followed by a brief pause and then, a very silent hhoooorse. We must have made such an impression by laughing at her all those times because still to this day she'll always pick horse. When I try to mix it up with a pig, or chicken she very sternly says, "No, mom. Old McDonald had a horse".


Lindsey said...

I am laughing out loud. Good for you for trying to have a great family weekend and do something that the kids could enjoy. I have a very clear picture of you, a purse, and a jungle gym. I've had that experience myself and must say I won't do it are a good mom! I think the best part could be the dead battery because that just tops it all off, really. Doesn't it?

Katie said...

Seriously. You are a brave woman! I loved your post and could just see you and Sean climbing around little tubes, chasing after the kiddos. I've never even heard of this place, and perhaps that's a good thing. Thanks for always making me laugh!