It's raining, it's pouring...and Mommy is depressing.

It's been a little while since I've posted anything. You could say I may have writers block, or the wind has been let out of my sails. I was off work for over two weeks, and one would think I'd have been on here daily but I suppose I took a vacation from this as well. So I'm back to work this week and I guess you could say the transition has not been smooth. I'm pre-occupied with personal tasks and home projects. There are thank-you notes to write, pictures to organize, and new Years resolutions to uphold. Getting up at 5 rather than 8'ish has been like a physical blow to the gut each day and obviously by the tone of the email I can see my lack of sun, warmth, and daylight is starting to get to me.

I miss my kids something fierce this week. I kind of ache for them like I did upon returning from Maternity leave. I'm feeling un-motivated at work and so here I am. I'm amidst close, I have a 5pm deadline to submit all my entries and I'm blogging.

To add to this depressing post (sorry everyone), my motto for today is, 'When it rains it pours'. Our washer & dryer are on the skits, I still have a dishwasher not quite attached to my counter top (thanks Ian), a fridge with a broken water line hence NO ICE, and on the way home from work yesterday I got a flat. Two new tires on the Acura= an un-budgeted expense of, wait for it......$480 dollars. The Honda also needs 4 new tires, and I have no couch. SO here's hoping our tax return is like $10,000.

Despite it all, I'm trying to stay positive. Can you tell!? I really truly am thankful for my health, the health of my family and kids. I heard devastating and heart-breaking news this week that a former high school classmate lost her life last week to Cervical Cancer. She was 30. This news really hit hard and I'm still trying to figure out how to process this. 30...a life just begun in my eyes. My heart goes out to her friends, her family, her husband and to her- never given the opportunity to have two beautiful children like I've been. I feel so utterly grateful for that today.

We had lots of 'funnies' last week but I failed to write them down so here's a conversation peice. Last week, when I took the kids to swim lessons-something I rarely get to do I heard the following conversation from the backseat.

Caden-"I'm totally like, four"

Alex- "Well, I'm totally like, three. And when I grow up, I'm going to be a mommy and have a baby in my belly."

Caden- "Well, Aunt Soosa already has a baby in her belly."

Alex- "Yeah. I'm gonna hug it."

There is something about 3 & 4 years olds. Something so innocent and lovely about their thought processes. So simple, so honest, so pure.

The kiddos continue to rock my world. Alex is now reading to us. Not the real words but gibberish in a story like tone. It always begins with 'One Day' and ends in 'The End'. There are always a few words thrown in between that will match the picture in the story. Her favorite book is called 'Beautiful Bible Stories'. So I can hear her reading in her bed at night, "One day, God blah blah blah blah blah, and God and the boat blah blah blah and then God said LIGHT. The End" Oh I love her.

Ian is talking more and more. I'd write an updated list but I have neither the time or the brain power right now. He is such a gentle giant, so lovable and sweet and happy yet busy and destructive and so very active. Yesterday when I picked him up from school, he came RUNNING over, smiling and saying 'Mommmu Mommmu'. He grabbed my legs, hugged them and pointed to me to let all the kids know I was his and look how happy he was. He danced and twirled and ran side ways into the wall, fell, got up and started dancing again! I decided to savor that moment and lock it in my forever memory as I'm sure I won't be so well received when picking him up from high school football practice.

The kids continue to play together more and more and Ian continues to hold his own against Alex more and more. I have to worry less that she's hurting him, and can leave the room and let them tumble around a bit more. Alex loves to sit with him, rub his back or pet his hair. He's learning to let her. And sometimes, I can tell he even likes it.

The End.