thursday

thursdays for me are just like wednesdays, and tuesdays, and monday's. they are all basically the same. and by thursday night i feel like i'm on the verge of crazy a little tiny bit. like, is this really happening? again? same as yesterday? get up, get ready, get kids ready, drive to work, work work work, drive home, pick up kids, make dinner, make lunches, put kids to bed, pass out on the couch in a crumpled embarrassing mess.

last night. thursday night. i found myself sitting at the stop light turning left to home with the kids in the back and knew...i just knew that i could not do EXACTLY what i did last night again. i had to mix it up or else i might just find myself resting within the confines of a padded room in some institution.

so i turned right instead. and i drove to trader joes.

we had no food in the house, and i do not enjoy shopping with the kids or without a detailed list of needs, but i couldn't go home. not yet, at 5:37 the same time as yesterday and the day before and the day before.

so we shopped, and we filled two tiny munchkin carts with pizza fixings. and we pushed those little carts around the store hunting down the hidden monkey so the kids could dig in the treasure box. alex, taking it very seriously and minding the rules of the road, stacking her cart in an organized manner. ian, pretending to race in the grand prix, stuffing his cart with the punches of his fists and nearly cutting off every other shopper in the store with the screech of his cart's wheels.

and we went home at 6:25 instead.

and we found daddy home already, and the dog had been let out, and the mail was brought in. all different from yesterday.

we made dinner as a family instead of me, alone.

we made a mess, and didn't clean it up.

we skipped homework, and made funny faces instead.

we ate scraps instead of saving our appetites for dinner.

we ate in the living room, on the couch instead of the table.

we watched 'sweet genius' instead of reading books.

then i asked sean if he'd put the kids to bed so i could watch the last and final episode of 'private practice' ever and he said yes.

and then i passed out in a crumpled and embarrassing mess on the couch. just like yesterday and the day before, and the day before that.