my aunt had surgery today. torn rotator cuff and some ligament situation. so i called to check in on her. she's more like a sister to me. she's only got 5 years on me and you know...we grew up together. she was the one always stealing all my good barbie clothes and tricking me into having the ratty haired barbies and the less cool corvette. after a few good laughs about her 'dead' arm which she accidentally sat on and then thought it was the remote because it is COMPLETELY NUMB and will be numb until tomorrow when it 'wakes up' and puts her into what her doctor said would be 'excruciating pain'. i told her my day was obviously just as bad because my tights kept rolling down and causing saggy crotch. i mean, totally up there with shoulder surgery. we laughed again. my auntie is my rock. she's one of those women that i think about when i'm having a rough day. she keeps me going. i always know i can do it, because she could do it. she's strong, and brave and damn...she's funny. so i needed to hear her voice and gut laugh with her. and that we did.
i didn't tell her this, because she just well...had surgery but i was teetering on the brink of sanity and she without even knowing it pulled me back over the line. god, i love her. when she asked how it was going i simply said, 'it's been busy. you know, i'm a single working mom A LOT' and she's been a single working mom...a lot. so she get's it. and she said to me, 'well honey? you've got about 10 more years of this so just...persevere. and i'm not sure what made us laugh so hard about that, but we did to the point of tears because there really is nothing to say. working and parenting and all of that is just hard. but you just keep going. PERSEVERE!
so in the spirit of persevering, i just decided i'm not going to work tomorrow. i can probably count on one hand how many times i've just sort of played hooky or taken an un planned day off in 13 years.
today, shit kind of hit the fan. i feel like i've been semi keeping the balls in the air but today they all fell down and rolled around the kitchen floor. it's been building all week. escalated yesterday when alex told me that when i help her with her geometry, she always get's it wrong and then ian told me i needed to lose 70 lbs. so you can imagine, i'm just not feeling competent or confident in any aspect of my life.
today, i received probably 10 non work related emails today that pushed me so far over the top in things i needed to do. then, i spent my hour of 'get shit done' at night searching for ian's reading homework book, and then that little thing happened that pushes you over the edge. i ran out of milk. again, right up there with shoulder surgery and imminent excruciating pain. right? no.
sometimes, i just have to take a day off of work to do EVERYTHING ELSE. so here is what i'm gonna do tomorrow instead of 'working'.
1. submit girl scout cookie order
2. return library book that is now 3 weeks over due. bring money you pretty much have to pay for the whole book.
3. take immunization records to school (this has been on the list for 3 weeks) and the office lady is on my tail
4. mail toilet rebate (because we finally crossed 'buy working toilets' off the list)
5. return shoes you shouldn't have bought
6. return food processor you got for sean to make salsa, but he doesn't like it
7. turn in school auction donation money, pick up family basket information, pick up vendor call list, sign up for volunteer slots
8. alex needs two paper sacks for her music performance costumes
9. figure out when to volunteer for that
10. alex's book battles are coming up, find flashcards and practice them with her
11. ian's teacher needs us to send 'mona lisa' pictures back to school
12. call bank for car title
13. water bill passed due, setup online payment
14. email rsvp for girl scout retreat
15. email rsvp for father daughter dance
16. sign ian up for baseball
17. call simon's mom back, play date request
18. send in rental form for family weekend on mountain
19. print label and return amazon cabinet hinges. the two sets of wrong ones.
20. do all laundry because we need to pull washer/dryer out on saturday.
21. buy food, you have none.
22. ian's 4 sweatshirts and 1 coat are missing. not in lost and found. figure out how to attach them to his person permanently.
23. something is wrong with dog, take him to vet. foreign growth on paw. SWEET.
24. mail the rest of donna's christmas gift
25. make ian's 5 year check up appointment (note: he's 6)
26. make alex's 7 year old check up (note: she's 8)
27. FLU SHOTS
28. remember when anybody in your family last went to the dentist.
29. call gma, you missed her birthday.
30. call your aunt, and check in again. try to make her laugh while she's in excruciating pain with something clever and witty.
31. think of something clever and witty.