sometimes, i think i might be going crazy. like, i even have visions of seeing my own face on the news of that mom that finally cracked. because you see...i know what my brain is thinking all the time. sean can sometimes tell when he see's that slightly crazed look in my eyes or if i start storming around the house with obvious ADD half doing the million things that need to be done and huffing and puffing and sweating a little.
sean is one super amazing guy to not judge me. at least not out loud and to my face. i wonder often, what goes on in his brain sometimes.
this morning (like most mornings and the reason i haven't slept in in FOREVER) my brain ticked on before the alarm.
and what it thought in roughly the span of 16 seconds was this:
i forgot to get the kids teachers a christmas treat and i have one more day-but i have a work thing til 9pm and can't do it-talk to sean about doing it-also talk to sean about picking up kids thursday since i have a work thing til 9pm-WORK make sure to get two weeks of work done in 1.5 days before vacation-oops, food drive, clothing drive, book bank donation $-did i remember to move the elf last night?-i have a christmas card left to mail but am short a stamp-i need dish soap-and body wash-and alex has no pants-we are late on a bank payment it's not showing up online-still need to call kids doctor for immunization records SCHOOL WILL MAKE THEM STAY HOME IF YOU DON'T-DOCTORS, they are both past due for well visits and dentists-me too!-need to return nike stuff-deposit check-omg we sold sean's car need to find a new one-girls scouts saturday need alex's uniform and baked good-CLOTHES! omg the clothes have been molding in the washer for 3 days-remember to ask dad about washer/think the drum is off center-need wrapping paper and tape-should i have carpets cleaned before or after christmas-CHRISTMAS...need a ham and to email family on what to bring-clean house-wash serving platters-napkins?-table setting ideas-my tree is still crooked-mail packages SERIOUSLY MAIL THE PACKAGES to east coast-return tile samples to lowe's-figure out what house poject to do over break-out of paint brushes, need wallpaper scraper, return home depot cabinet knobs, order cabinet knobs-laundry room floor needs cleaning real bad think the ant trap spilled goo-bonus room hasn't been vacuumed since we moved in-need more ant spray-figure out what animal is living in wall next to our bedroom-kill animal that is living in wall next to bedroom-email sean's mom back-organize desk in kitchen it's atrocious-wrap gifts-wrap everyone else's gifts who sent via amazon-need wrapping paper-already said that-ALARM RINGING PUSH SNOOZE still more things to do-email alex's book battle club parents back/arrange meeting-remind alex to read her book-alex wants a christmas break play date-ashley asked her to church/text her mom back-ian haircut-sean haircut-sean's last check stub erased vacation hours, did he figure that out?-what to get sean for christmas-forgot to give donation money for ian's school party-email his teacher i can't volunteer for his school party/must work-make it up to ian because i promised-stop making promises-order pictures-get frame for print in living room-does the tree have water? i moved the elf, I MOVED THE ELF!-has sean practiced her recorder i think she's tested tomorrow, did i say sean? i mean alex-wow, not sure we've returned library books and movies-or kids school library books-do the laundry and make sure the dirty clothes the kids threw on the clean bin get moved to dirty bin-take your vitamins and stop wondering why your so tired-anemia is gonna ruin your break-find car title-organize office papers-buy a small safe for our important docs-do we still have that shredder?-work out, it's been a year-close gym membership you haven't worked out in a year.
and then i got up, and went to work til 9pm. and guess what went threw my mind the next morning when my brain ticked on.