Tuesday, October 25, 2011

does this stuff just happen to me or am I the unknowing star of some reality tv show?

nothing ticks me off more than when good intentions go awry. when you make a concerted effort to do something good and it backfires. when you pump yourself up for something dreary and then it fails.

today = train wreck.

this morning, sean found me stretching and contorting my body in strange ways near the dining room table as we were getting ready to leave. he didn't ask questions probably because the look on my face was something resembling hate. if hate is a facial expression.

what i was doing, was stretching out my jeans so when I got into the car i wouldn't lose circulation to my lower extremities on my way to work. a friend today referred to my current predicament as 'the growth of my winter coat'. well, it's just nearly fall i'm not ready for a winter coat, muffin top or anything resembling it. so quickly, i packed my gym bag this morning. it's time to put a stop to this.

i was actually looking forward to it. taking a break from work, getting out in the fresh air and taking an hour for myself each day is good for my soul. it gives me more energy, it makes me happier, and it is the one thing i can do that is my choice in a days time.

a co-worker dropped by my desk around 11 today and with a look of, 'i'm gonna ask you anyway, even though you always flake on me' asked if i was going to hit the gym today. I say yes, WITH enthusiasm and point to the gym bag next to my desk and say 'I'M IN'. she says we should take the office bikes over and i politely decline because a)riding bikes in jeans makes my teeth hurt much like seeing people in flip flops and socks and b)i needed to hit the atm machine so opted to drive. also c)i'm lazy and working out is hard enough without riding a bike to get there.

after circling the parking lot 3 times i opt to live on the wild side and take a 4 hour 'visitor spot'. i mean, you can get towed but squeezing this workout in with an afternoon meeting looming was bringing up the anxiety monster in me. so i pulled in, put the car in park and hoped for the best. i think this is when karma swooped in, donkey kicked me in the gut, and then slapped me in the face.

I walked around the car to grab my gym bag out of the back. just then, another rule breaking citizen pulled in to the 4 hour visitor spot next to me. to allow him to park and get out of his car, I had to slightly shut my door to let him by. when i turned around i realized i had just shut my keys, my phone, and my gym bag in my car.

all doors locked.

after the gentlemen walked away with his gym bag in tow i stood there and stared at the car for a bit, tried to open each door three times each and then said a few words i won't repeat here. not knowing what to do i threw out some options to my own self. i could call sean, IN SALEM and maybe in an hour and a half he'd be here to what?, call the locksmith for me? i really didn't want to put up with his looks of, 'how did you let this happen' as if i did it on purpose because standing outside my locked car with a blouse in my hands in an illegal parking spot is super fun. i could call my dad but he's leaving for his big annual hunting trip today and nobody wants to stir up flashbacks of the time in high school i skipped school with friends, went skiing, and then my car died on the way down the mountain (also the day before his big annual hunting trip). because, that was not awesome.

just then a co-worker who i had also planned to meet up with walks by and says, 'it's so good to see you here! it's been awhile'. i look at her with sadness, holding a white blouse that had fallen out of my car in the shuffle. 'i don't think this is gonna cut it for the treadmill' I said.

luckily i was able to use her phone to call campus security who after just 25 long minutes in the crispy cold air came to my rescue with raised eyebrows as i was CLEARLY breaking the rules. they used a blood pressure type thing to crack my door just a tinch, and then slid a big pole in popping the locks for me. apparently, it was a record for the gentlemen who made it happen in less than 6 minutes time where their previous rescues were well into the 7 minute time frame.

so with my lunch break gone, and my spirit shattered i got back into my car and went back to work. not without doing a few deep squats to loosen up the jeans before settling in for the rest of the afternoon.

i'll try again tomorrow and maybe ride a bike over, or god forbid walk. and maybe today is the day there's a big fatty check in my mailbox for that new candid camera show that's out there filming my daily drama's. here's hoping.

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