Tuesday, June 28, 2011

On May 19th, 2005 at 4:39 pm, Sean and I welcomed a little girl into the world. She weighed 8 lbs, 3 oz and was 21.5 inches long. We named her Alexandra Reese and today, that little girl turned six.

I didn't keep this blog when she was born, but if I had I would have surely written a novel on that day. I would have in way too many words expressed my awe, my wonderment, and my pure fear in how I would take care of this infant I knew nothing of.

I remember looking at my mom on the day she was born eyes wide, body still feeling the trauma of child birth, tears streaming down my face from both pain and joy and saying, 'Mom, I think I got a fussy one'.

My mom laughed at my instant judgment of the 'wee ones' personality. She didn't know that weeks later, she would admit I was right after we suffered 2 months of agonizing colic.

Each day since, (and I do mean when the colic finally ended) I have fallen more in love with this girl than I knew possible. The way in which she has matured each year has blown me away. She has an incredible personality and spunk and a sense of humor her Momma is so proud of! This year, she went to Kindergarten and lost her first teeth. She made new friends and wowed us on the soccer field. She cares for and loves her brother and shows him only in his most vulnerable moments. She always makes sure he 'knows his role', and that 'she is the alpha sibling' but is always the first to run to his rescue, help him up if he falls, and grab an extra snack on her way through the kitchen.

The older she gets the more I see myself in her. Not just in how she looks as I was a spitting image of her at this age but in her personality. In all honestly, this is good and bad. She's warm, caring, and respectful. She always wants to do good, and be appreciated. On the other hand I'm learning (as myself) she's a bit of a glass half empty girl. This is a character trait I have battled with honestly for several years after many years spent resenting the label. This last weekend, after a fun-filled day at the balloon festival complete with rides, and an elephant ear, Alex cried incessantly in the bath that night screaming, 'this was the worst day of my life'. All because we ran out of tickets and she did not get to go 'fishing' to win a prize. I sat back, hands lathered in her shampoo and like a freight train was hit with the realization of the battles I used to have with my parents.

I've since called my mom and apologized AGAIN as I've done several times over the years for my childhood behavior.

I like to associate being a 'half glass full girl' with just wanting to do and be everything at 100%. When that doesn't happen her and I both get frustrated and discouraged and instead of focusing on what we did do and accomplish, we focus on what we didn't or wanted to. I hope that as I have over the years learned to recognized this and improve upon it that one day she will too. She has a lot to learn from me good and bad, fortunately and unfortunately.

Like me, Alex is an emotional being. Yes, this means that she may over-react, appear 'dramatic' and blow little problems out of proportion. This also means, she sometimes cares more than she should. She is empathetic and caring and a worrier. She can, without words, make my day brighter with a hug she can sense I need.

Alex is smart as a whip just like her dad, and has a photographic memory of sorts. She remembers times and locations and events and is often asking me, 'Hey mom-remember when I was three and....' She blows my mind with her love to learn, write and read.

For her sixth birthday, we had an 'at home party' with a small group of TWELVE kids. This was after she narrowed her list down from 20. Being a social butterfly has it's drawbacks! We converted our garage into an art studio and I do believe she had a blast.

I can't believe how quickly time flies. I can't believe that 6 years have passed. I remember the day she was born like it was yesterday. I remember our first car ride home where we kept looking into the backseat and then to each other shaking our heads in amazement. I remember her first words, and her first steps. I remember the first time I hauled her kicking and screaming from the grocery store. I remember everything yet it feels like such a blur.

My wish for Alex on her sixth birthday is that one day, when she reads this blog she understands even a tiny fraction of how much love her dad and I have for her. That she knows how deeply she's blessed our lives, and how all her traits are so loved and appreciated.

Happy Happy Birthday to my sweet Alexandra Reese, may your next year be as great as the last!

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