Well, for those of you not living in the Pacific Northcrapfest, we have yet to see more than a glimpse of summer weather here. SO, I figure no better time than now to power wash the house, the deck, repaint the deck, clean the garage, make several trips to the goodwill, and overall de-clutter the place. In the middle of all that, I decided I hated the color of my laundry room and in a few hours time and many regrets later, voila! What once was yellow, is now a grayish blue...or something. All of this so that when the sun does decide to shine, I will be ready for it.
Mixed into all that, we've had a few bugs hit the kids. You know, those straggling germs that get us right at the beginning of summer when we are hanging on by a tiny thread for cold/flu season to finally rid itself. I've survived the year end push at work, and yesterday the kids had their last day of school at the preschool we've taken Alex too since she was 1 1/2 and that Ian started at just about the same age. It's been a lot to take in. I'm never good with change, unless it's a paint color, or a hidden wad of quarters buried in the bottom of my purse.
I'm currently crawling out of a 'I'm a terrible mother, gutter' after several evenings spent pouring over the gruesome details with ambitious salesmen of getting our windows replaced. This at the expense of foregoing any quality time with the kids which was compounded by a terrible guilt of my missing Alex's final gymnastics class and performance. Luckily Sean was able to make it, but with each and every one of these events I miss I get more and more anxious that my baby is 5, and she's going to school next year, and wow these 5 years have flown. I get bitter at how much of her life I have missed due to work, and if someday this feeling of guilt will go away.
I was lamenting these feelings last night after a long day at work and a long evening with the kids. Sean didn't get home til after the kids were in bed and I was tiiiiirred. So tired that I muttered several profane words as I hauled a load of laundry into the living room to be folded. After dropping half the load on the way, and bending over to pick up a sock or one of the 30 white undershirts Sean so desperately needed near 20 times I exploded. Then I sat down, and watched the best possible show I could have at that very moment which was a TLC documentary on a family with quintuplets.
What a nightmare. Although, they couldn't even have a nightmare if they tried with NO sleep and 5 infants to feed and diaper and clothe...and added expenses of near $6K per month.
And I knew I would survive.
And I knew that needing new windows was not the worst thing in the world.
And I knew that one day soon, the sun would shine for more than 19 hours and rid me of the ghastly mood I'm in.
Alex is doing great, aside from the giant dent in her forehead. On Monday, as she was cleaning up toys she spun herself in this elaborate and non graceful circle while on all fours throwing her head into the corner of our activity table. It stunned her, and when the bleeding started SHE FREAKED. Head wounds always bleed a lot, so I didn't panic but she did. And it took her an hour, two ice packs, and 3 Dora band-aids to calm her down. Oy.
Ian is in a super funny stage right now. He's obsessed with his upcoming 3rd birthday and at times when he's feeling angst, gets told 'no', or is irritated by you in any way will loudly proclaim, 'you're not coming to my birfday pauwty'. He weaseled out of a nap the other day claiming his friend 'Jason' wouldn't stop talking to him and he told me he hated the Clifford the big red dog book because there was a daddy in it, and daddy's are annoying (pronounced: anoylin).
Poor Sean.
I'm going to close with that. I'm also going to promise that all future posts will be sunny and bright and filled with lovely pictures and memories of all the summer fun we will have. Oh yes, fun we will have. For now I'll leave you with this:
and this; see, he does love him!
and this:
and...whatever this is.
No comments:
Post a Comment