I'd love to be talking about 2 Pac's 'picture me rollin' song from one of my all time favorite discs 'All Eyez on Me' ba dum-du dum....all eyez on me. Okay the song will be in my head for the rest of this live long day.
Instead, I'm asking you to picture me rollin two bikes, tangled in a dog leash with said dog attached to the end , while dragging a two year old by the arm, and nudging my 5 year old in the rear with my foot. Oh, and let's not forget the bag of dog crap I was carrying.
All of this because I decided I'd take the dog for a walk.
It was day 4 of Sean's 5 day work trip to Boston. It was also our 8th year anniversary and I was dragging myself through the motions of responsibility, one being Chips daily walk.
The kids were tired, and although they wanted to go, about 10 minutes away from the house they decided they were done riding their bikes, or walking, or having any sort of human qualities like speaking in decipherable language, or listening. So picture me rollin two bikes, tangled in a dog leash with said dog attached to the end, while dragging a two year old by the arm, and nudging my 5 year old in the rear with my foot as she reluctantly now walked in front of me, WITH a bag of dog crap in my hands and then deciding to stop for the mail. As I fumbled for my keys, I glance to Ian who is peeing himself on the sidewalk.
I right then, receive a text message from Sean which includes a photo of a giant mug of beer from the Boston Red Sox game he is attending and I want to die.
The rest of the evening only goes down hill which includes a moment where I find Ian's arms covered in toothpaste as he cleans out our bathroom sink with his toothbrush which is still littered with Sean's shaving remnants from last Saturday. I gag. Alex thinks this is so funny, and for the next hour I try to get them to listen, calm down, and get their pajamas on. They hear me not, and giggle incessantly and I lose it.
The kids went to bed sobbing, and I fell asleep face down in my tear soaked People magazine feeling like the worlds worst mom. I was only able to muster out a text message to a friend who I knew would understand and tell me everything was ok.
This morning, miraculously they didn't hate me for it. I apologized to both of them. Ian said, 'Thanks mom' and burrowed into me. I asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he said, 'CAKE'!. What else I asked? 'ICE CREAM'! What about a toy (I dig and dig for an idea), 'CHOCOLATE TOYS'!
And a chocolate toy he will get. So now, picture me rollin to Toys R Us this afternoon where I will make up for a stressful week with lavish gifts, or chocolate treats and anticipate Sean's safe return this afternoon.