Thursday, April 28, 2016

Blurred Lines

The Scene:

It's dusk, a Sunday in early April in the Pacific Northwest. We've gathered with our dearest friends on the back patio of a friends house as the sun and heat came early this year and we are pretending it's summer. But the sun has gone down, and we are all freezing. Wrapped in puffy coats, drinking wine like Hot Chocolate because it's warming just the same.

I overhear a conversation at the end of the table. A friend is telling a story about a boy who had a problem saying potty words. And so to roadblock this problem, the parents offered a reward. 'If you make it one week without saying a potty word, we'll take you to Red Robin and you can have ice cream!" the story went.

Apparently, the young boy was so motivated by the prospect he made it one entire week without the likes of 'poop', or 'butt', or 'poopy butt'. What a feat.

So the family went to Red Robin to celebrate the win, and they had dinner. And then the grand finale, an ice cream sundae. The young boy savored each bite with quiet enjoyment.

When he was done, he licked the spoon top to bottom and placed it in his bowl. He looked at his parents from across the table and said, "BUTTHOLE".

Now, before you judge...let me share. This story was about my child. My young boy with a potty mouth problem.

When the story was over, I leaned down and said "who was this?" and my friend looked at me and said "Ian, it's IAN!, Don't you remember?" And bit by bit and detail by detail those blurred lines came back to me.

And it all came back to me. That 'funny little time' when Ian had a terrible potty mouth. Right around his 'little white lies' era where he would explain scratches to his face as the result of 'falling on a box of knives' and that one time he told his daycare teacher his parents were living in separate houses and expecting another baby. Imagine my surprise when they pulled me into a back room at pickup one day to discuss the big family changes and "how can we help?"

It's funny what you forget as time marches on. Which is why I tried to write the best of the best down here. This one just comes a few years late. Thanks to my friend for reminding me of this treasure. I will add this to the list of possible topics of discussion during his wedding toast.


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