Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I'm finally at a point where I can talk about it.

So, I'm not sure where to begin. I do need to start by saying that after 4 years of parenting and after 2 years of parenting two, no day has pushed me further or harder than yesterday. I also understand that my last few posts are down right depressing and I fear that any readers out there may assume that A) I hate parenting and B) our life is a total chaotic mess. Well, neither are true and I promise that coming right up will be a giant, lovely post filled with happy memories, moments and funnies as we just had an amazing fun-filled vacation week.

A few months back, a good friend of ours was over for dinner and after several hours of hanging out and letting his wife kind of pick up the parenting slack, he said, 'I'm going to go ahead and grade myself a D in parenting tonight'. We all laughed and ever since Sean and I have used this grading system to rate our days with the kids. Now, obviously we have many days were we feel like A and B parents...but yesterday, I get a big F for Fail. I was not patient, I was not kind, I was not understanding or sympathetic. It was one of those days where I went to bed sad that my one day home with the kids, 'our special day' was tainted and ruined and it would be another 4 days before I'd have the opportunity to make up for it again.

We returned home from vacation late Saturday night (blog to follow I have to aire some dirty laundry first). Sunday was a long, tiring and frustrating day. We were all tired, jet-lagged, and we had a house to clean, loads of laundry to wash, and not a lick of food in the house. We took care of bidness on Sunday and I was looking forward to a calm, restful, and relaxing Monday home with the kids. I even thought, HEY, we'll go to the Zoo! Well, the stars were not aligned, it must have been a full moon and I don't know what I did but Karma was after me.

I woke up with a headache. In fact, I've woken up with a headache for the past 3 days. Ever since I had that first 'vacation is over, I have to go back to work' thought my back has been stiff, my neck a tight wound ball of nerves and the feeling of stabbing knives has burrowed right there in between my eyeballs. Now it could also be the result of Ian ramming his face into my cheekbone last week leaving me with a black eye, but I don't want to blame him as he's already in big big trouble.

Our day went a little something like this:

  • I stumbled down to the coffee pot and washed down an excederin migraine.
  • I fight my headache and allow the chitlens to watch Caillou.
  • I get the kids dressed and encourage Ian to pee on the pottie. After getting him down from the toilet, he pee's on the floor.

  • Kids fight like bloody hell for 1 hour over Barbie shoes. After putting Barbie thingsaway, I find them in a nasty tug of war over a book neither of them have touched in a year. Do I calmly detour them to another activity, oh no. I lose my temper and send them outside.

  • I manage to unload the dishwasher and moments later I hear the screams. I peek out the kitchen window to find Ian flooding the sandbox with the hose. They are both covered head to toe in wet sand. I briefly wonder why I had children, then clean them up and return inside.

  • I take another excederin, lean against the fridge and rub my temples when suddenly I'm standing in water. Ian is holding the hose once again up against the toyroom screen and is flooding the entire room. My brand new bamboo floors are soaked.
  • One hour and a half later, I have finished wet/dry vacuuming the room, mopping, and soaking up the water. I make lunch and we all go for a 2 1/2 hour nap.
  • We rise from the dead, me in a horrible stupor as I'm a terrible napper. My head feels mildly better and I manage to make a few phone calls as apparently, my kids are playing quietly in the other room. While on the phone with the doctor, I peek around the corner to find Alex and Ian with my boxes and boxes of partylite candles strewn about the entire room. In each of their little hands, a candle which they have been using to DRAW. ALL. OVER. MY. COUCH. WITH.

  • I lose my cool, and ask my 2 and 4 year old what I ever did to them.
  • Alex pee's on the floor as she's 'too scared to go to the bathroom alone'. The result of a serious 'freak out' while on vacation (more to come).
  • Ian decides Chip Chip needs more food and breaks the lid off the food dispenser and fills his water bowl, yes WATER bowl with food. I gag, soggy food floating in waterdoes not do it for me.
  • I throw in the towel, literally. I throw the kitchen towel. What happened next, I'm not even sure. I may have even blacked out a little. Reached maximum capacity or something. I'm not sure what happened between 4-6 but we made it, unscathed.

I've been trying to take challenges and stresses and shed some positive light on them. I brainstormed for several minutes trying to find some good in my day. Did I learn something? YES, I learned that the free microfiber cleaner I rec'd with my couch really does remove everything including wax. I also learned that half of my kitchen dishtowels do not absorb water. I also came up with a potential money making invention regarding child proofing outdoor hose nozzles. Win win right?


Andrea Wedewer said...

Oh, Carrie...I can relate on far too many levels. Particularly the love affair I have with my microfiber couch. The days go by SO slowly, but aren't the years trucking past? Hang in there, girl!

Jenny said...

Read this out loud to Lawrence just now. I'm sorry that you had that day, but I'm glad that you took the time to write it out, as these will be precious memories one day. They will. I promise. :) Love you mama, you are flawed and fabulous! And only 3 days more til you can make it up to them...

Katie said...

Oh dear me...what a day! Bravo to you for not killing one of them in a moment of fury. I hate that you had a bad day, but I love that you take the time to write about - hopefully you can look back and laugh (maybe in a year or two :).

Lindsey said...

I've so been there. Sometimes I just say out loud to anyone listening, "Seriously?" Here's to hoping it gets a little better. The crazy thing is we're talking about a third...yes I have officially lost my mind.

Mandy said...

This post just made my HORRIBLE night! Let's just say that I can relate to it too well - and my kids are in bed tonight wondering if I'm mom is going to be here in the morning...yep, I threatened to leave (horrible, I know). If Bart were home tonight and I drank, I'd call and say let's meet at a bar pronto!! But I just have to say thanks to you, my dear friend, who is a wonderful mommy, for making me smile with your story and humor. Love ya