The Dangler

Sean lost his #2 rank. It began a few weeks ago with Ian wandering around the house, his hands up in wonder saying, "Pop Pop"? Later, we'd find him nose pressed to the front window, standing on a stool and waiting for "Pop Pop" to randomly pull up into the drive. Now, he greets my mom (Nanna) with not a hello, but a 'Where is Pop Pop?' It has everyone's feelings a little hurt, well except for my Dad of course.

(They fell in love at the Bronx Zoo)

Last week, Ian woke up for 6 days straight between the hour of 4am and 4:44 am. Like clockwork, his little cries pulled me out of bed. Night one I swore it was his teeth. Night two, the same. Night three I became suspicious and night four I was dang mad. This boy was playing me. The next night I vowed to leave him be, let him cry it out. And that is what I did. At 4:37 that morning his wails rang three very clear plea's. "MAAAAMMMA....POP-POPPPPPPP, NAAAAANNA.

We've been kind of laughing about it all week. That Sean's name was never called. That Nanna's wasn't even second. Smugly, I was still first and for that I am thankful. Just tonight Alex at the dinner table said, "Mommy, remember that time when Ian called me Nanna and he called Daddy Pop Pop in the night?". Oh how silly, he just got our names wrong. NO, those are actually his three favorite people right now. OR, the three people that are most likely to come save him, crying from his bed. That, he did get right.

Which brings me to the dangler. Tonight we all had a good laugh as we let Ian prance around naked prior to Jammies. He took off running in the kitchen, screaming with glee. This kid loves the Nude. And we love him in the nude. His stocky bowed legs, his dimpled behind, and his budha belly have us all laughing to tears. He circled the kitchen and came running back, and as he tried to climb up on the couch, Sean saw it. A dangler. He screamed out "He's gonna poop!" I told him to bring him in the bathroom as I'd just cleaned the old toilet trainer ring from the garage. We plopped him down on the toilet and he screamed the highest pitch scream of happiness! He started to pull toilet paper from the roll, and dab at his thingy. When he then touched his nose with the 'tainted' paper, Alex fell to the floor in a hilarious laughing fit. He was so proud to be sitting there, he patted his chest and glorified his maturity. "Potty!" he said. And sure enough, when I pulled him down from the potty, we saw it...the dangler. Just a wee sized hershey kiss-esk dangler now floating peacefully atop Alex's mountain of toilet paper. His prize, his masterpiece, his first initial deposit. Technically, he pooped in the potty right? So that is what we celebrated, we all screamed, we clapped and Ian patted his bum in his 'naked body' dance.

Alex insisted we call Nanna because in her words, "Ian was being just hilarious.". I'm sure that in a few months, he'll be able to tell these stories himself with a personal call to Pop Pop.

A Picture says a thousand words...right?

Alright Kelly. I got the hint. I'm absolutely failing at blogging these days. FAIL. Not for lack of content or inspiration, but only for lack of time. And well, I'm addicted to the Twilight series and spend all spare minutes which are few reading books that quite frankly make me want to be a vampire. A vampire that needs no sleep, has super powers, and is immortal. I mean, really. Please tell me three other traits better suited for a Mom? Just try.

Here are a few pictures to tell you just exactly what these two have been up to recently.

Alex has discovered that she has inherited her mothers amazing skill of facial control. She loves to make funny faces, cross her eyes and well, LAUGH. I still need to get a video of that on here because most people wouldn't believe how she can get going.

This week, her best line was said while playing with her Barbie keyboard. She was singing along to "Oh Baba Baba" when she suddenly stopped, put her finger to her chin in deep thought and said, "Momma, is there like...a human in here or something?"



She's into dressing up and has taken to wearing dresses. She loves anything that requires tights and fancy shoes. This is her newest dress. I must brag here on this Old Navy bargain I picked up for a mere $3.99. BARGAIN! Times are tight, the economy is scary and although this Tot used to be dressed to the nine in Gymboree and Baby Gap, thems days are over. With word that my place of business will in fact have to resort to a 'reduction in work force' as they called it, I may be snipping coupons here shortly too.

This is Alex modeling. The second you bring the camera out...get ready for the newest episode of Runway or America's next top model. She smiles, she poses, this girl is gonna break me in a few years. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the fact this little diva is going to be 4 in May. Time has flown by with this one.

Ian. What can I say? He is always keeping us on our toes! His new 'trick' much to my demise as well as my flooring, carpeting, walls, etc is to gather a big mouthful of liquid (in this example blueberry juice) and SPIT it out, everywhere. He thinks it's funny. I think it's not and at this point I'm at a loss as to how to get enough fluids in him without A)letting him have a bottle and B)ruining every single shirt, bib, or item for that matter with a 10 foot radius of his grazing station.
I can only hope that this photo session didn't encourage the behavior anymore than Alex's horrendous laughs from behind me.

My little Vampire.

His other new thing (also revolving around food & drink mind you) is helping himself to snacks from the pantry. He has it down. He opens the Tupperware cupboard, finds a nice hefty vessel and then helps himself to pretzels, fish crackers, or shredded wheat. He usually carries it directly into the living room and proceeds to crush it into my new couch. I love him.

His vocabulary is amazing me right now. You would absolutely never know this little dear is deaf in one ear. I'm anxious for his hearing appointment this Friday to hear what they think of his progress. He now says, Be (Bink), Show, More, Pease, Up, Baby, Body, Belly, No (a favorite), Yes (always with an exuberant head nod), Hat, Ball, Shoes, Juice, amongst many others...I'll keep thinking.

For my avid (and mildy obsessive) readers, I promise to post more frequently. I only have a few chapters left of my book at which time I will become as depressed as when Sex and the City ended, come to the realization that my life is neither glamorous or immortal and resort to blogging again.

Safari Sams-The out of shape Mom's worst nightmare.

Sean and I were determined to give our kids a great, fun-filled family weekend. And this is what we did. See below the only photo captured of our day o fun..and let it be known that it pretty much encompasses the totality of our experience that in one word can be summed up as...crazy.

I have no pictures of this place. For those of you that know of this 'place' you can understand why. For those of you that don't? Consider yourself lucky. It's dark, warm, and is surely the best known host for the residue of snotty noses, sneezes and dirty little fingers. I could practically see the Germs. We were in the Petri Dish that is 'Safari Sam's.

Safari Sam's is like...well, Chucke Cheese's times a million. It's a GIANT play structure with rope climbs, plastic gym mats, including elements of 'Gladiators' with swinging punching bags, seat belt netted jumping rooms, army crawl tunnels, giant slides & pyramid towers. Every kids dream. Every Parents worst nightmare.

The parents of the older children sat on the outer perimeter, drinking beverages from the (god bless them) full bar, or congregating in the middle with their cell phones and laptops as they 'sorta kinda' made sure their kids weren't body slamming the smaller children. The parents of smaller children (like us) , could be found well, squeezing their bodies through 'too small' holes and sliding down 'too small' slides. I, with my giant purse found these tasks extra difficult and attribute the bag, packed full of snacks, diapers and water bottles the bain of my current existence and neck pain that leaves me feeling crippled. I'll probably never forget seeing Sean emerge from a long windy tunnel slide with Ian in tow. Like the sound of a cork being removed from a bottle of wine, Sean said, "Whoa, we got stuck". Ian's face, surrounded with a large ray of staticky hair was all smiles.

When all the kids were rosy cheeked, and Sean and I were cursing our long sleeves wishing we had come prepared with sweat shorts, knee pads & helmets. We left. When Caden began stomping in anger that he couldn't get up the rope ladder screaming, "I'm just tired!", we knew it was time to cut our losses and head home to ice our sore muscles.

We made two pit stops, one to Stride Rite where BOTH my kids are required to get shoes due to the extra tall and extra wideness of their feet. I curse those that raise the price of CHILDRENS SHOES to levels I wouldn't myself purchase a pair of shoes for! Our last stop, Costco, for milk. Sean idled in the parking lot while I ran in and upon my return realized our car doesn't like to sit in 'auxiliary' for more than 10 minutes. BATTERY dead. As all three kids wined hungrily from the back sean. Sean and I silently aired our frustrations and call my sis for a jump. A day has never felt so long.

This weekend, Ian furthered his vocabulary. When I asked the kids if they wanted to watch a movie, he replied, 'Sure'. Clear as day and as if he'd said it for years. He then pointed to the TV and said SHOW!

I've always somewhat regretted not having started this blog earlier. To capture some of the funny things that Alex said in her first two years. What I've found, is that Ian is reminding me of things. We were reading a book earlier this week and started singing, 'Old McDonald had a farm'. One of mine and Sean's FUNNIEST memories of Alex was her always singing in the backseat of the car, 'E-I-O'. Never E-I-E-I-O, but E-I-O followed by a brief pause and then, a very silent hhoooorse. We must have made such an impression by laughing at her all those times because still to this day she'll always pick horse. When I try to mix it up with a pig, or chicken she very sternly says, "No, mom. Old McDonald had a horse".

Blankies & Binkity Binks

Ghostrider, we have a problem. We have an addict on our hands. His name is Ian, he's 19 months, 32 pounds, and he's addicted to his bink and elephant blankie woobie thingy. Come on kid.

I never thought in a million years, I'd have one of those kids that resembles Maggie from the Simpsons, or Linus. He walks around rubbing his blankie on the side of his face and sucking that bink like there's no tomorrow. It's time for an intervention. Sean has been pushing for this for some time. I'd rather avoid the melodrama and wait until all his teeth come in. Or until that sweet way he says 'Bee?' , wears off. 'Bee', 'BEE!' he says, while pointing to wherever his binky rests, placed there by no doubt Daddy who's confiscated it while he had food in his mouth instead. If he were a normal sized 19 month old, I may not feel the urgency in this matter but I'm convinced that the public scrutiny is about to take it's toll as Ian looks not 1, but 2. Or 3.

Ian had quite a rough weekend. He wined and cried incessantly. I'm convinced it's his teeth again and kept him on Tylenol when he was ultra irritable. Sean and I took the kids furniture hunting this weekend as we've been without couch for several weeks and it's wreaking havoc on both of our spines. Ian was unbearable and as I tried to sooth him in the car, Alex piped up and with the utmost certainty proclaimed that Ian was obviously crying because he knew that she had a hole in her pants from falling on the playground. And that scared him. Surely.

Tuesday I got to watch her final gymnastics class this term as well as the presentation of all they've learned. What fun for me, as I normally am sitting at work while her school transports her and get's to witness her weekly growth and accomplishments. I get to hear about it at the dinner table and today, the conversations of Pizza Hangs, Caterpillar Beam Walks, & Vault Frog Jumps were all explained in the most amazing visual display EVER! She took the class so seriously, and was so proud to show Sean and I all she'd learned. Her favorite part was the medal she earned that she got to accept on a grand staircase of plastic foam pads, just like at the Olympics.

I've signed Ian up for a class on Mondays that I can do with him, and that I am thrilled about! His class is called 'beasts' and I can't help but laugh at the irony of that.

Other than that, business as usual around the Kolmer household. It's been a long, busy, work stressful, and emotional week for the both of us. I personally am feeling like a deflated balloon that needs these next three days desperately to re-fill. I'm having one of those weeks where I feel like a terrible horrible no good very bad mother. The 1-2 hours I've gotten with my kids each day, has been full of whines, cry's, and temper tantrums. Work has been horrendous, and some family issues have drained me emotionally. I've found myself counting the minutes until the kids go to bed so I can rest and after they are snug in their beds, I sit stressed and regrettful that I spoiled that very short time with them. So our plans for the weekend? Lots of family time, comfort food, woobies and binks all around. I need my kids probably just as much as they need me.

News Flash...

It's official. My babies aren't babies anymore. I learned that this week when Sean opened up a giant space in our kitchen by removing the highchair leaving a huge gaping hole in my BROKEN heart. "Ian likes to sit at the table like a real kid" he said. A kid. My baby no more.

I have two healthy lovely children. A boy. A girl. What more could I ask for? Sometimes I want to ask for a never-ending infant. Maybe another little girl, 5 months old that sleeps through the night, loves to be held, is still immobile and never grows up. This little girl would never get sassy, and never need 'the talk', she would never need her own airplane seat and a college fund would be inappropriate as she'd be my tiny little loving snugly baby...forever. Or he.

I'm very much in a conundrum these days. No, I'm not ready for another baby and most of the time think another baby just might break me but I'm not ready to close the 'doors' just yet. Sean says he's 90% sure he's done which is not the best of odds for my achy breaky heart but we'll just see. He still has not succumbed to my argument that as we are each one of three...so should our own. He's not buying it.

What I'm realizing is no matter how many babies I do have, I will go through this stage of longing. To make that final decision to be done pro-creating, adding to our enormous population and drawing a line in the sand when it comes to expenses is HARD! The prospects of being done writing half my income over to childcare each month, buying Huggies and tripping over sippy cups is enticing yet a highchair being disposed of into the garage has me thinking. There will be many more things to come, bassinets, boxes of clothing, tubs of bottles binks & baby toys that I will one day have to part with. And like choosing to cut off one of my limbs, I won't do it willingly.

I took Ian for his 18 month appointment this week. He's 32 pounds and off the charts in both height & weight. "He's not fat, he's just big all over" his Dr. said. He clung to me like a monkey, his head buried into my neck and I loved it. Not that he was afraid of course, but to feel that he needed me and wanted just me. It was one of those moments that although stressful, I took the time to really breath it in and appreciate it-these experiences will slip away...just like my babies are.

On the way home I had an entire conversation with Alex regarding her *Ahem*...wedding day. Which crazily will also be the day she delivers her first child, a boy, named Mika. "I'm going to dance with Daddy and we will win a huge trophy for the competition", she says. "And I will wear your marry clothes and go to the beauty store for getting ready." Not exactly what I wanted to hear as I was dealing with the emotional loss of my Peg Perego.

So with that, a trip through memory lane. From baby to...not so much.

Alex: An Interview

I saw this on another Mommy blog I religiously read. I thought it was so cute I'm going to try it too. A fellow mommy sat her 4 year old down, and drilled him. I thought it would be a nice little something to look back on many many years from now. Here goes, Alex's first Interview.



What's your name? Alexandra

How old are you? She holds up three fingers, "Three"

What's your favorite color? Pink

What's your favorite book? Piggy Book

What's your favorite song? Oh baba baba-Britney Spears
What's your favorite movie? Charlotte's Web...and Wall-E
Television Show? Wow Wow Wubzy
Who's your best friend? Jacob, TREY! And Taylor....

Favorite Smell? Polka Dot Smell

What's your favorite kind of candy? Cotton Candy!

Favorite Sound? Music

What's your favorite instrument? Violin

Favorite thing to do at school? Sliding

What's your favorite game? Wall-E game for my V-Smile...and Wii Bowling

Favorite Food? Chicken Nuggets, Watermelon, and I like Pizza too.

Favorite thing to drink? Water and Apple Juice

What's your favorite animal? Piggy...stinky piggies.

What's your favorite thing to do? Going to the Park

Where's your favorite place to go? Swimming Lessons

What's your favorite Toy? The Sit n Spin. I'm going to go ride on the Sit n Spin. Can I go get the Sit n Spin and sit on it while your printing me out?

What's your favorite thing about Ian? He likes to play with me and sit by me by the train and ride the rocking horse zebra thingy.

How old is Dad? 3, Are you three daddy?

How old is Mommy? 4, Are you 4 mom like I am? 'Your 3', I say. Well I'm bigger than Dev.

What makes you happy? Bunny when I was a baby (Her pink bunny pull-toy)

What do you want to be when you grow up? A Mom! Like you.

It's raining, it's pouring...and Mommy is depressing.

It's been a little while since I've posted anything. You could say I may have writers block, or the wind has been let out of my sails. I was off work for over two weeks, and one would think I'd have been on here daily but I suppose I took a vacation from this as well. So I'm back to work this week and I guess you could say the transition has not been smooth. I'm pre-occupied with personal tasks and home projects. There are thank-you notes to write, pictures to organize, and new Years resolutions to uphold. Getting up at 5 rather than 8'ish has been like a physical blow to the gut each day and obviously by the tone of the email I can see my lack of sun, warmth, and daylight is starting to get to me.

I miss my kids something fierce this week. I kind of ache for them like I did upon returning from Maternity leave. I'm feeling un-motivated at work and so here I am. I'm amidst close, I have a 5pm deadline to submit all my entries and I'm blogging.

To add to this depressing post (sorry everyone), my motto for today is, 'When it rains it pours'. Our washer & dryer are on the skits, I still have a dishwasher not quite attached to my counter top (thanks Ian), a fridge with a broken water line hence NO ICE, and on the way home from work yesterday I got a flat. Two new tires on the Acura= an un-budgeted expense of, wait for it......$480 dollars. The Honda also needs 4 new tires, and I have no couch. SO here's hoping our tax return is like $10,000.

Despite it all, I'm trying to stay positive. Can you tell!? I really truly am thankful for my health, the health of my family and kids. I heard devastating and heart-breaking news this week that a former high school classmate lost her life last week to Cervical Cancer. She was 30. This news really hit hard and I'm still trying to figure out how to process this. 30...a life just begun in my eyes. My heart goes out to her friends, her family, her husband and to her- never given the opportunity to have two beautiful children like I've been. I feel so utterly grateful for that today.

We had lots of 'funnies' last week but I failed to write them down so here's a conversation peice. Last week, when I took the kids to swim lessons-something I rarely get to do I heard the following conversation from the backseat.

Caden-"I'm totally like, four"

Alex- "Well, I'm totally like, three. And when I grow up, I'm going to be a mommy and have a baby in my belly."

Caden- "Well, Aunt Soosa already has a baby in her belly."

Alex- "Yeah. I'm gonna hug it."

There is something about 3 & 4 years olds. Something so innocent and lovely about their thought processes. So simple, so honest, so pure.

The kiddos continue to rock my world. Alex is now reading to us. Not the real words but gibberish in a story like tone. It always begins with 'One Day' and ends in 'The End'. There are always a few words thrown in between that will match the picture in the story. Her favorite book is called 'Beautiful Bible Stories'. So I can hear her reading in her bed at night, "One day, God blah blah blah blah blah, and God and the boat blah blah blah and then God said LIGHT. The End" Oh I love her.

Ian is talking more and more. I'd write an updated list but I have neither the time or the brain power right now. He is such a gentle giant, so lovable and sweet and happy yet busy and destructive and so very active. Yesterday when I picked him up from school, he came RUNNING over, smiling and saying 'Mommmu Mommmu'. He grabbed my legs, hugged them and pointed to me to let all the kids know I was his and look how happy he was. He danced and twirled and ran side ways into the wall, fell, got up and started dancing again! I decided to savor that moment and lock it in my forever memory as I'm sure I won't be so well received when picking him up from high school football practice.

The kids continue to play together more and more and Ian continues to hold his own against Alex more and more. I have to worry less that she's hurting him, and can leave the room and let them tumble around a bit more. Alex loves to sit with him, rub his back or pet his hair. He's learning to let her. And sometimes, I can tell he even likes it.

The End.